Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
