I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
