Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
