if i can run in heels then i can drive
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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