i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
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She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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