in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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