i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
