K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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