READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
