3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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