Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
