I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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