wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Randomize
