I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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