i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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