i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
