God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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