She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she peed on how many people?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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