I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
