so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
