i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
