I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
