Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize