You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
