you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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