so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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