Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
