people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize