think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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