Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
