my soul wont recognize me after tonight
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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