How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
