Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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