nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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