3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
