ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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