When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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