so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
COCAINE IS GR8
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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