this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
