In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
