none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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