Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
