making cat noises will not fix the situation.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
