how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
