Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
