We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
