I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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