she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
there is glitter all over my balls
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
