Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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