david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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