When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize