I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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