hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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