she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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