is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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