There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
