I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
