Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
