friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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