I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
