my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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