craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Also, beer. Big fan.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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