Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
