I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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