What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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