He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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