I have demons in me.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize