Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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