So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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