That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
