i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
